My Testimony: Imagine That

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.
— christine Caine

Imagine That

The bible says in Revelation 12:11 that we overcome by the words of our testimony. I give  my testimony and hopes that God with completely revive, refresh, and restore all of me. I pray  each one of us will find total healing and deliverance. Let’s not  continue to walk around the same way for the rest of our life. So here we go I want you to think on these two words “Imagine that” as I bring forth my testimony the way God gave it to me Listen Closely.

Imagine being formed inside your mother’s womb so precious, innocent, and not a care in the world.

Imagine being born growing up in a household where there was no father and mama was stuck trying to provide on her own.

Imagine as a young girl thinking that I was an outcast because even though my brother father wasn’t in the household he was around for them  and I couldn’t help but  wonder what was the reason my dad didn’t want me and choose not to be there.

Imagine growing up to know that all your dad cared about was the drugs, streets, and jail?

Not understand it wasn’t nothing I did but simply he was battling his own demons.

Imagine going without lights and even water on numerous occasion but being that you was a child it was nothing you could do so we suffered.

Imagine going to school and being bullied on a daily bases because you didn’t have what the other kids had so you tried everything even tho it wasn’t your style to fit in because for the life of you.. You didn’t want to continue feeling neglected.

Imagine growing and having big dream but because does around you couldn’t see the vision they shot them down and told you.. You couldn’t do that!

Imagine That

Imagine becoming a teenage and battle the spirit of depression and not having anyone to talk to because your mom was working trying to provide and you was the oldest of everyone.  So you wrote in a journal and your feeling you continue to hide.

Imagine 15 years old sitting on the bathroom floor ready to end your life because in your mind you had nothing to live for.

Imagine That

Imagine thinking if I could only help out then we would be like this.

Imagine knowing of God but not really knowing God because you went to a church that was walking in tradition.

Imagine life being so rough, that your mind became the devils playground and for the second time trying to take you life. 

Imagine That

Imagine your sixteen birthday thinking you would have the time of your life.

A friend of the family, a person whom you actually thought was kin to you coming to pick you up to supposedly take you out and because he was trusted you grandparents agreed that you could go.

Imagine traveling the opposite direction then you are supposed to have been going only to in up in an unfamiliar location. Look at my cousin, what I knew his as, and telling him I don’t feel right and wanted to go home.

Imagine getting out because he insisted on going inside and life change there after

Imagine him sitting on the couch sliding close to you and kissing on you and tears begin to flow because although you wasn’t taught and prepare mentally you knew this was wrong and wasn’t supposed to be happening. But where could you go and no one would hear you scream!!!

Imagine him getting aggravate, pinning you down, calling you out your name, and taking what didn’t belong to him.

Imagine That!

Imagine exactly 2 weeks later watching you grandma run thru the house at 3:00 am, banging on you uncles’ bedroom door and next thing you hear is an ear piecing scream asking Why God Why!!! Only to find out that you home and everything in it was now gone! Lost in a fire!

Imagine finally getting told you brothers did not survived and at sixteen years old you was now responsible making funeral preparations.

Just Imagine That!!!

Imagine you mom finally coming home but because she was now considered disable you have to grow up and take care of home.

Imagine getting so fed up and for a three time trying to take your life!

Living in the bathroom blood coming from a small cut you made and remember asking God why want you just let me die!!!! I was anger with him!!!

Imagine him shortly thereafter replying no my child I have work for you to do.

Imagine That!!!!

Imagine growing up with resentment, shame, guilt, depression, suicidal thoughts and acts, and the world around you was still spinning yet it seem like you was the only one living in it.

Imagine as an adult not being able to fully function because you carried some much baggage and never allowed yourself to heal so you became bitter, angry, cold-hearted, and turned away from the world and everything in it.

Imagine wonder what was your purpose, your place in this mean o world and even at 20 something years old still not having anything figured out just going thru the motion. 

Imagine all of That!!!!

 I let my pass control me

I let what others though of me take over me

I let the demons and the mind game that came along with them sallow me up and spit me out!!!

I was worthless

I was useless

I was broken

I had low self esteem

I was down for the count!!! 

But God!!!!

Imagine stepping inside of a church that seem to be living and I mean really living!!

Imagine the pastor telling you the issues you was facing and you laughing in your mind think this is all a joke.

Imagine going back Sunday after Sunday because you finally woke up to what was going on and wanting more

Imagine reading you bible more

Imagine praying more

Imagine learning what it means to fast

Imagine shouting over and over and over again

Not because you was faking nor because you was a show off but because you truly wanted your deliverance and you knew what it took to get it.

Imagine standing here, 28 years old and finally learning what it’s like to be free is.

Imagine seeing favor on your life

Imagine God keeping his promises and turning things around

Imagine a happier, peaceful life

Imagine finally learning how to forgive!!!

Imagine doing what they said you wouldn’t and not only writing, finishing, and publishing 1 book but 2!!!

I stand before you and this is my testimony!

I used to live off what I once was but I’m more concerned about what I’m going to be!!!

I leave you all with 3 key quotes that help me along my journey

1.) Don’t let you inner me become your enemy! 

2.) Every obstacle you face isn’t for you but to help someone else. Your struggles are someone else’s strength

3.)    Not matter how many times you fall down get back up! Keep in mind it’s not even about how you fell but all about how you get up!!!

 

 

And my favorite scripture!!!

 Isaiah 40:31 King James Version (KJV)

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.